Imbento

    i like white shirts…. in fact i’ve got a whole lot of em….. the only problem with wearing white is that as time passes by, they turn yellowish or   they lose the luster that they once had…. other than that, when it   gets   stained, sometimes no matter how hard you try that stain just won’t come off (this guy got it off though ->)… (or you’re just too lazy to scrub it off)….

   everyday i wear white… figures coz i’m a med student… and after over a year of wearing these white clothes, stain has come on it… others were removed, others, they just stick there…..

  no matter how hard i try to get rid of those stains that came on… there just ain’t no way that i could remove it… i think i’ve tried everything… but still …….. the only other reason left is maybe i’m just too lazy.. hmmmm….

since i can’t get these stains off… i just pretend that i got them off (with great   difficulty)… eventually forgetting that i got those stains in the   first place… but then each time that i take a closer look at these white clothes i notice that the stains are still here with me……

   there are times that even if i see those stains i just ignore but there are   times   when i just can’t help but think back as to why those stains are there in the first place….and from thinking back, its either i just laugh as to why i got them or put my head down and just try to get   them   off…. but still to no avail

  *sigh*

  so for some of you guys out there who knows better about laundry… do try to give me some tips on removing these stains... otherwise, i’d be living with these stains for the rest of my life………

  *sigh* what a day….

everyone knows cinderella right? the little sexy chick that was turned into a   house slave by her stepmother and stepsisters…..

i know this story of cinderella in real life… though there were more   kids   involved rather than just two evil stepsisters…

  this little girl agreed to be part of this big wealthy family, not for the sake of earning cash but to be able to go to school and get educated…. at first this   chick thought that she was so lucky to be able to be adopted by this family…. but then as time passed by, the gal got to know how much of an unethical and greedy family that she actually got into….

  it is crazy…………. cinderella is the youngest of 13 children (she’s adopted though)… and yet everything and everyone in that family depended on her…. supplying food, money, popularity…. cinderella was capable of so many things… in fact, the only way that the family could stand is if cinderella stayed and made the family a better one….

   but just like an ordinary person, cinderella got tired of all that bull…..   especially after a natural disaster that so happened in their kingdom a few weeks back…. the whole town of Farfaraway got flooded… destroying every single gadget that the family had………. which means, there’d be a lot of   spending to do by the family to get their home back into shape……

  but to whom did they leave this to? the 13th child, cinderella…. it was crazy…. cinderella was adopted by the family…. but then she’s made to do all the dirty work……. cinderella was made to come up with rediculuos amounts of money just to pay off all the damages that she had absolutely no   responsibility to!….

my story about the poor girl ends there…. could you imagine yourself being that situation? it is absolutely insane! if i were her, i’d be out of that family very very very soon……………………..

  i went home late…. again… for the second day in a row now…. well, that’s what us guys do… go out, have fun, chill out, drink….. hehehe…. nah… if you believe that i’ve been doing that all week long, you’re out of your mind…. i’ve been out studying with some of my friends who have the same problems that i   do when we study at home and that is falling asleep while studying…

anyways, so today i went home late (or should i say early), and alex dropped me   off at petron which is just a tricycle ride away from my home… i heard this group of young men askin if i needed a tricycle… so i motioned yes and then this guy went running towards his tricycle so he could give me ride….

now i thought that was it but then as we cruised towards my place, his buddies got on another tricycle and followed my ride… i didn’t mind… at first… but then these guys started talkin but i couldn’t really make out what they were saying.. halfway through the length of the ride, the driver’s buddies were tailing us… and then all of a sudden, they disappeared……..

i thought they just went along with the ride and turned a different direction to get back home….. but then something inside me told me to take another look behind me….. and guess what? the tricycle that was following us earlier was still there!!! it cut down some speed….. so was i being paranoid? you’d probably say i’m crazy but hey…. it cut down some speed and turned off its freaking lights! now who in their right mind would feel comfortable about that?!…

damn…….. we were getting close to home too… I started running scenarios in my head of what i should/could do if this and that happened…..

  first thing that came to my head was, prepare the tricycle fee and run into the house before they get a chance to mug me….. probably set my man-eating dog free and we could work together to break some skinny gang’s necks!

second thing that came into my head was to grab this 15inch-long pipe that so happened to be in the tricycle i was riding and start swinging when trouble occurs… but then i’d be in a disadvantage of a 1 to 5 combat….. i’m pretty sure i weigh 10-20lbs heavier than any of these guys…. then i realized that if these guys were on drugs, they’d be more aggressive and stronger than an ordinary   people…..

i was running out of options…. so we arrived at my place… i lost sight of the   other tricycle…. things looked brighter for me when i saw a couple of my sane neighbors still out having a chat with friends…. i’m pretty sure that the plan of these guys got messed up because of these other people in the   street…..

so i paid the driver 20pesos, went through the gates and locked it…. and i think i heard/saw that the driver was interested in my dog………. hmm……….. oh   well, atleast i didn’t get mugged…..

but if ever those guys do try to break in……… all hell will break lose and i’ll just have to make sure that these guys won’t be recognized by any of their relatives when i get through with them!

this past few days have been kinda dull….. nothing else to do but study, study, study….. hmm…. i realize that all i ever talk about in this blog is about school….

anyways, there have been so many conflicts between people that i happen to spend half of my day with every single day…. just seems as though everyone has been seeing the other side of their colleagues that they don’t like…. or maybe people have just changed the past few months or the past year rather eversince being in med school….

everyone has their own secrets. everyone has their problems. some of us prefer to speak out about our problems to try to ease the pain that we’re dealing with. others on the other hand, prefer to keep it to themselves, thinking that they could carry on without having other people carry that burden along with them. but sometimes, in effect of trying to solve your problems on your own, you end up hurting the other people around you….

aside from problems, all of us do have imperfections when it comes to attitude… like i said about myself…. i’m a nice guy to some and an insensitive prick to others… i’m the kind of guy who does what he wants. but i do try my best not to harm others in the process… it woudn’t be nice to get what you want with the expense of others around you…. that’d be bad….. but there are times in which you really aren’t doing anything to the people around you, just that they misinterpret you for what it is that you are doing…

for example, i’m walking a straight line… a path where no one else steps on… so i just walk and walk and all of a sudden here comes another guy running perpendicular to that line. he ran so fast that i didn’t see him that in effect we collided with each other…… (you’d get what i mean eventually)

the thing is, all week long, i’ve heard of people talk about other people. and ofcourse i do joing in agreeing with what they’re telling me, sometimes disagreeing, but then in the end getting stoned to death by doing so… but the thing that i’ve noticed here is that most of us, if not all of us, just have too much pride which leads to a lack of understanding of other people around us….

sometimes, we start thinking too highly about ourselves that we forget that there are other people around us…. sometimes we forget to listen to the concerns of other people simply because we think that we already know everything and that everything that we know is the absolute truth…

simply put, most of us, if not all of us, are just plain old egocentric…. =(

this day sucked……

ok it didn’t suck that much but it sucked………..

the day started with surgery…. which was okay… learned good stuff and did okay in the test… i guess…..

then came pharmacology…….. God forsaken pharmacology….. our schedule was supposed to be laboratory……. turns out the lab didn’t have the stuff we need again, for the 3rd week in a row now!… okay fine, not our problem…. but then this crap turned into our problem when our oh so dedicated professor announced that

hey, you guys have no lab so no more lab exam!

alright! yeaaaaaaa……..  or so we thought then came his next line….

…..so for this shifting, incomplete kayong lahat!

wtf! come on! its not like its our fault we can’t do the laboratory for this class! sheesh……. but since its just the second shift, i guess we could let that pass…. then came the biggest pain in the ass that could happen to a supposedly good day….

our class starts at 1pm…. as usual the professor (who from the start of the school year) was late… late by how long you ask? 15mins? nah…. 30? not even close…… try 3…. minutes?! you’re out of your mind!!! the freaking "guy" was late for 3 freaking hours!!!!!!!!!!! anak ka naman ng tinapay……

now you’d probably say… .well, atleast he came, right?…. yea yea….. it would have been okay… but it wasn’t! all the freaking "guy" did was sit down, read stuff flashed from the LCD in a voice that you’d recognize as sorry for you guys, i’m not in the mood…

damn…. for the whole length of that forsaken lecture all that i could hear was someone indirectly saying i don’t want to teach…. could we just go home now…! langya ka naman…

on top of that, he even yawned deliberately as though trying to get some attention from the class so that maybe, in a leap of faith, someone would come up to "him" and consult, calm, entertain, show a little care, rub elbows and all that bull with "him"….

damn it…. this "guy" is lucky i could contain my temper when i’m outside of the house….. badtrip tlaga…. i would’ve been more productive if i was at home studying! if "he" doesn’t want to teach, then don’t! who the fuck cares?! i’d rather go home and study on my own! la rin naman nanyayari pag pumapasok sya e……. the only reason why i stick to that class is because of the attendance and the quizzes… but the lecture per se? i could read! just as well as "he" does when "he" reads his lecture

its been a while since i updated this blog….

its been real busy… i’m still busy actually…. nothings changed…. i don’t know how well i’ve been doing lately with everything that i’ve been doing… *sigh* i just hope for the best…..

two days ago, i finally reached that point where one would explode (well, where I would explode anyways)….. the last few weeks have just been a pain… aside from the fact that it took about a week to get the electricity back, all my work just piled up on me….

there are tests here and there, plus there’s the thesis….. i’m dying…. and then two days ago, we had this med mission which lasted half a day… after that we did our thesis and reviewed it right from the top…. i got home around 6pm or 7pm i think…. i had a little dinner and went on to study my notes in my pc…….. after a while, i felt fatigue overcomming me as my body started to feel heavy and i could not keep my eyes open anymore…. so i took a little rest…. i left the pc open ‘coz its kinda hard to turn that freaking thing on…. and to think it’s actually quite new… hmmm…

anyways, when i woke up to study, the pc froze! so i tried resetting it but then problems and more problems came in and i couldn’t turn it on anymore!!! okay, so you’re probably saying what’s the big deal?! dude! all my stuff, all my notes, all my transcripts are in that freaking pc! and to make things worse, i have a test the next day and there aint no way i could finish reading unless i used the transcripts in my pc!…….

at that point i just snapped……………………….. imagine bruce banner getting mad and turning to the hulk…. that was probably me…. i couldn’t think straight anymore… my aunt couldn’t even calm me down… i wanted to bash that pc up so bad….. but i didn’t… instead, i just sent out my anger and frustrations on a couple of inanimate objects… like my wooden cupboard, my door and some walls……………. if they were alive, they’d probably be on their knees….. (im not sick enough to hit living things….)…. i don’t know why i did that, but i just did…. didn’t really make me feel better…. at this point i thought it was the end of my sanity…….. everything didn’t seem to matter no more….. all the stress, fatigue, pressure, the fact that i haven’t been doing better than last shifting…. all this piling up just overwhelmed me………. i was going nuts…….. there even came a time where i felt i was gonna collapse and probably when i wake up, i wouldn’t be myself anymore……

then somehow, some logical sense came into my head, just like turning on a lightbulb…. i stormed out of my house and looked for a place to print out transcripts from the internet… it was 9pm at that time…. and i was seriously doubting that any store would still be open around our area…. and with luck there was one! i went there, got it from then net and printed it out….. all in another 45mins….. sucks…….

another factor which drove me crazy was probably the time factor…. in this course, time is everything……….. and i’ve lost so much time already that day and there was no other way to compensate for it for the test the next day………….

i’m just happy that i didn’t go crazy………… but just goes to show that, i do have a lot of problems coping up with stress………. i hate cramming……. never has been my attitude from day one……………………..

*sigh*

right now i’m doing better i guess… ‘cept for a couple of aches here and there….. no need to ask why….. i hope i wouldn’t end up being dependent on zoloft or sertralin or any of them anti depressants….. but when i think about it, i’m actually gettin close to needing those damn medications!…..

i need some rest……… though i can’t really afford to………………….. buti pa kayo na hindi nagmemed….. life’s a bitch sometimes…. and sacrifices would always have to be made… as well as obstacles to always go through…. the only thing that we have to do is make sure that these stuff does not get the best of us and pray for the best and in the end, hopefully, ideally, you’d be/have what you’ve always wanted… kaya…. i’ll do my best to get through this….. i’m not alone after all….. kakayanin ko to…. just needs a little bit of yoga…. =)